I QUIT!!!

How to quit smoking with drugs? This post is dedicated to all you those who think that quitting smoking with drugs is a good solution to get rid of this life killing addiction. Many people still don’t understand that the problem of smoking is making the human kind more ill each and every day. Cancer is one of the most wide spread disease related problems that literally murders thousands of innocent people almost every year. So what can be done about it? If talking seriously, there are too many different kinds of interests that make the cigarette and tobacco market extremely profitable. It’s impossible to make the smoking addiction disappear once and for all from this world.

However, the other part of the smoking puzzle is also growing extremely large with the new health market products which make quitting smoking much easy and claim that the unique and only answer for this is acquiring the latest quit smoking pill, getting the awesome quit smoking medication and generally buying all the quit smoking drugs when they are possible to be acquire on this market. In my opinion this is extremely naive. People have to understand that the real solutions about quitting smoking is hidden in one’s desire to change something about his or her life, not in the so called ultimate product that can ease your pain.

Cravings are something natural when trying to quit smoking. If you are a serious smoker and while trying to make this addiction go away by reducing the nicotine dose on a daily basis and you simply don’t feel any cravings it means that something is terribly wrong because a normal person would simply die off some incredible pain that is making one go nuts. No folks, I’m not trying to scare you I just want to say that quitting smoking has to be hard in order for that person to realize the big step that he or she is actually making. It can be easy, because if getting rid of tobacco addiction would be so simple than coming back to it would be as easy as quitting so there must be a great balance in order to produce the necessary harmony.

So why do you think that people continue to purchase quit smoking drugs so often, especially on the internet? Do they actually believe in all that is being told to them about the huge effects that are going to help every smoker out there quit smoking without experiencing at least the basic nuances of cravings? Well, I can’t surely say much about this but it seems so. People actually are afraid to take important decisions in their life and when doing something that important as overcoming the tobacco addiction then just want to secure their success and not to feel any pain. Being afraid is not an option and you should be that person that understands it if you want to succeed in your smoking cessation attempts. You should be paying more attention to natural ways to quit smoking.

That’s why most drugs to help you quit smoking are probably going to reduce the usual pain that a smoker is feeling, but won’t solve the whole addiction problem in the long run. I would like to suggest that before purchasing any quit smoking drugs you have to carefully analyze all the secondary effects about that particular medication. Search for reviews on the internet because you’ll be surprised about how people write about these issues. Those who are trying to sell you stuff will be hyping it up like always but you can also stumble upon many different honest reviews that will show you the right way. Anyway, quitting smoking is about not giving up and continuing to struggle until success

What’s It Going to Take to Make You Happy?

I’ve been thinking about this question a lot lately. What does it take to be a happy person? Obviously the answer is going to be different for each person, but what worries me is that, as far as I can tell, most people don’t even ask – and those that do don’t have a very good answer.

Ask someone what would make them happy, and their answer is likely to be pretty vague. “A good career”,” they might say. Or, “Family.” “A strong relationship with my partner,” they might add after a moment’s reflection.
There’s nothing wrong with these things, of course, but there’s not much meat to them as answers. They don’t give us much to chew on – which is to say, they’re not really actionable.

And I think that’s because we don’t give much thought to the question. Maybe we’re a little suspicious of the very concept of “being happy”. After all, our grandparents/parents/[insert fabled ancestors here] came to this country with nothing and scraped and toiled to build a better life for themselves – they didn’t sit around thinking about whether or not they were happy. They were miserable and they liked it!

There’s no dignity in happiness, not in this worldview anyway. Happiness is frivolous, fleeting, ephemeral. Dignity is found in the grave and serious, not the frolicking and joyful.

There’s another reason I think we aren’t willing to face the question of what makes us happy: we’re afraid that the answer will prove to be something out of our grasp. Maybe you need a million dollars to be happy, and you only have $3.62. Maybe you need a better job than you’re capable of holding, or a bigger house than you can afford, or a prettier wife or more handsome husband, or better-behaved children. Maybe you need to be smarter, better-looking, more outgoing, taller, healthier, more disciplined, thinner… someone else

I don’t buy it. There are unhappy people in all walks of life. If it were brains, there wouldn’t be unhappy smart people – and there are. If it were money, there wouldn’t be unhappy rich people – and boy are there! If it were looks, there wouldn’t be unhappy beautiful people – and Marilyn Monroe wouldn’t have taken her own life.

And vice versa – there are unhappy dumb people, poor people, and ugly people as well. Just as there are happy rich people, happy poor people, happy dumb people, happy smart people, happy beautiful people, happy ugly people – happy people of every stripe.

What makes them so special?
I think the answer has to be self-knowledge – facing the question of what it will take to be happy head on. It’s obviously not something external to us that “makes” us happy; we make our own happiness. But it’s not so simple as just deciding to be happy. We make our happiness by determining what it will take, according to our own individual taste and character, to be happy, and chasing after those things and only those things.

Maybe you need to be rich to be happy – that’s the kind of person you are. Or maybe you just need to be comfortable, to not have to worry. Or, quite possibly, you need the edge of poverty to come really alive – stranger things have happened! You can’t know if you’re not willing – or not able – to face yourself and figure out what money means to you. Not whether rich people are shallow or profound, whether poor people are lazy or victimized by a social system that needs poverty to secure cheap labor – but what money means to you.
Or maybe you need a different job. But what job? Maybe you need to move – but to where? Maybe you need to get healthier – but how? In what way?
The trick here is to move beyond empty platitudes and hollow stereotypes and really look at our own lives. That’s where happiness starts to take root.

Your assignment – and mine, too – is to figure all this out, to sit down with a pad and paper and start writing out our answer to the question: what’s it going to take to make me happy? Be specific – what exactly do you want from life? How is each thing on your list supposed to help you create happiness in your life? Most important, are you sure these are your answers, and not society’s, not your friends’, not your parents’? It’s so easy to internalize everyone else’s talk about what makes people happy – but the proof’s in the pudding: are they happy? If not, what are you doing listening to them.

Sit down, write your list, and tuck it away somewhere safe. Then go out and do the things on your list, and let me know how that works out for you. Let’s see if we can’t all figure this out for ourselves, ok?
Regards
Stanly

Each day is a gift..

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully
dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed
and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to
a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home,
she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual
description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been
hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an
eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.”
“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied.
“Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my
room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I
arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make
every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in
bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no
longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new
day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in
my life.”

She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw
from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot
of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in
filling my Memory bank.
I am still depositing.”

And with a smile, she said:
“Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.”

Keys To A Better Love Life

I recently asked 5 of the most successful couples I know for their best advice on how to create a fantastic love life. They laughed at first. They thought I was asking about sex. I assured them I wasn’t. I wanted to know what they’d done to keep their love alive for 100+ combined years of life together.

What came next surprised, inspired, and frustrated me all at once. These ideas were so simple, so straightforward. Why weren’t more couples putting them to use in their own relationships? Richard, happily “living in sin” with Debbie for 39 years, said it best. “Most people just don’t seem to care enough to put a bit of effort into their relationship every day.”

If you really do care then you’ll have what it takes to put the following concepts to use and reap the benefits. In spite of all the complexity that love serves up, these keys will make short work of adding joy to your relationship.

1. Ask For Praise
Expecting your partner to notice things without prompting is often very unfair and can lead to resentment. Keep the beast away by speaking up and bringing attention to things you’d like your partner to notice. If you’ve done something you’d like your partner to take notice of, say something! Got your hair did? Say something! Fixed the dining room table so it doesn’t teeter? Say something!

You did this instinctively when you were a child. Remember running up to a parent or guardian and asking them to look at a picture you’d colored or cape you’d made out of an expensive tablecloth? For most of us, the response was one of amazement (if a bit contrived) and vocal appreciation for our obvious talents.

You’re not so very different now. You still love to be praised when you’ve done well. Even if it’s something you should have done earlier in the week or missed a detail on. How to get that praise? Ask for it and agree to give it when your partner asks you for some appreciation. You know not to crush a child’s spirit by ignoring their efforts to impress you. Are you as smart about your partner?

2. In Everything, Give Thanks
Say “Thank You” and make an effort to regularly demonstrate your genuine gratefulness for all your partner does for you. There are going to be times when this will seem an impossible chore. Perhaps you’ll be furious with your partner over something or other and they’ll point out something they did, hoping for praise. How will you respond? Will you offer your praise and thanks then deal with your anger separately? Or will you close up like a shell and torture your partner with inconsolable silence?

You care about making your relationship work so I expect you’ll swallow your momentary pride and say thank you. After all, your partner deserves at least the same courtesy you’d give to a complete stranger. When you cannot be gracious, be polite. Make a habit of offering thanks to your partner, even for the tiniest of things, and a sapling of thankfulness will grow into something strong enough to support you both.

3. Schedule Time For Each Other
If you were worried about killing spontaneous romance by scheduling time with your partner, you wouldn’t be reading this. For the rest of us with busy lives and hectic schedules, an exhausting Wednesday is easier to handle knowing that Thursday at 6pm we get a few hours with our best friend.

All that’s left is to actually be present with your partner during the focused time you have together. This, according to all voices heard in my less-than-scientific survey, is one of the hardest parts of any long-term relationship.
Dinner with kids at the table doesn’t count as real presence. Sitting on the couch while you both have laptops running in front of you doesn’t count either. In fact, most of the things we do as couples fall into the realm of proximity instead of true presence. A simple test (thanks, Sharon!) is to see if you need to get your partner’s attention before talking for them to hear what you say. If you do, they weren’t really there to begin with.

You’ll be tempted to use your regular time together as the time for you to angrily vent and argue. Don’t do it! This is your time to catch up with the person you love. If you can’t think of something wondrous and warm to say, chew on silence and just be. There’s something about focused presence with a loved one that helps troubles sink away just a bit. Make the most of your time together!

4. Agree On How To Argue
Sometime when you’re not even a little angry with each other, sit down and talk about how you fight. Then lay down some rules you both agree to follow during future arguments.

My grandma, shared three of her rules:
* Nobody leaves during an argument without saying where they’re going.
* Arguments that last longer than 3 days are obviously stupid and will not be allowed to continue.
* An argument will never mean that the relationship itself is in question.
Grandma’s final rule resonated with me because that’s something I work very hard to do in my own relationships. One of the most difficult but smartest things to say during an argument is, “I love you but I’m so pissed at you about/for/because [insert argument here].” Keeping the argument separate from the relationship status is key to getting things back on track. You could call it a shortcut through very dark woods.

5. Say You’re Sorry Every Day
Apologizing is a lot like learning a foreign language. The more you practice it in real-life situations, the better you become at it.

If you don’t do something worth saying sorry for every day, you’re either an angel or completely blind to your own inadequacy. You need not commit some great damage against your partner before saying you’re sorry. Just be yourself. In the course of being yourself you’ll say something without thinking, forget to pick up something from the store, or complain about your day without asking about your partner’s. You’re a master at making mistakes! =)

The more you ask for forgiveness, the easier it will be to admit to and gain forgiveness for all the things you do that might drive your partner away if not taken care of. Its never easy to swallow your pride and admit to screwing something up. But you need to do this and make a habit of it if you want to make your relationship the best it can possibly be.

There were many more tidbits and some hysterical stories shared but those 5 tips ranked highest on the list of useful bits of advice.

Letting go....

I like the concept of letting go. It’s mostly where I find joy, calm, peace and purpose. It’s so much easier than chasing. And so much more effective. Rather than chasing happiness, the Buddhist philosophy suggests that we simply choose to let go of that which makes us unhappy. The very notion of chasing something has a sense of urgency about it, doesn’t it? And, of course, with urgency comes anxiety. And with anxiety comes illness. And with illness comes unhappiness.

Maybe our gentle robe-wearing friends are on to something. Some people spend their lives chasing acceptance and approval. Perhaps it’s time for some of us to let go of the need to seek the acceptance, approval and even permission of others? Perhaps we’re good enough all by ourselves? Perhaps we should stop giving away our power? Perhaps in the letting go we’ll find the only acceptance we need: self-acceptance. Some will spend their lives chasing physical perfection. I have some expertise in this area. While it’s great to be in shape, it’s not great when our confidence, self-esteem and sense of self are dependant on our physical appearance.

Considering that we spend most of our lives in a slowly deteriorating physical shell, this pursuit is an exercise in frustration. This desire for physical perfection arises out of fear. Fear of not being pretty enough. Good enough. Desirable enough. And, of course, fear is at the root of unhappiness. Some will spend their lives chasing financial wealth, only to wake up one day and discover that all they’ve created is emotional and spiritual poverty. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being wealthy, except when that wealth defines us. If only we taught our kids (and ourselves) that being rich has nothing to do with money or material possessions. Some of us have spent years (and years) trying to ‘find’ ourselves.

Maybe it’s time to stop looking and simply let go of everything that isn’t us? When I let go of everything I am trying to do, be, create and own, there I am. And while I might do, be, create and own much in my life, I am none of those things and they are not me. I can’t be found in things. And neither can you.
What do you need to let go of?

Alice Springs

 

A loud announcement woke me in my seat after a surprisingly good sleep. It was followed by Belinda Carlisle's Heaven is a Place on Earth. Wow, what a great and inspired way to wake up and start the day! Immediately I felt happy and eager to go. I decided that when I inevitably get back to the nine to god knows when grind, I will invest in a alarm device with the ability to play Belinda Carlisle to make my day infinitely better.

An hour or so later, I pulled into Alice, and after waiting an age for our bags (in the rain,goddamnit) we piled into the Annie's Place transfer bus. That particular hostel was recommended to me by a girl who had travelled in Australia that I knew through one of my friends back home. It was a good call as well; we dropped our stuff in a colourful, clean room and chipped out to meet Alice.

Alice Springs was surprisingly spacious in volume, albeit with a definite smalltown feel. To give you an idea, it had roughly the same population as my friend hometown of Mersing about 25,000 populations. I can’t think of a small town but correct me if I’m wrong with the number. I pretty suck when comes to number.The only reason it appears on maps is that it's the only thing of any size in the whole of central Australia worth labelling!

The slightly crap mall did, however, finally give me the chance to buy an Aussie hat (and no, it didn't have corks dangling from it - but they did sell such hats, and an American woman actually bought one whilst I was in the shop... tourists, eh?). Ever since my first day in Noosa, I had been eyeing up the suede hats, but I could never find the style I liked in a size that would fit my egg-shaped bone. But that evening, I walked home proudly sporting a genuine Aussie-made bush hat.

My driving hadn't scared Dave (another backpacker from England I met in Sydney) away, and he was happy to travel with me again along with a Japanese traveller friend of his called Misato

He'd arranged to meet up with on The Ghan. The three of us were planning to head out into Australia's red centre to visit a big rock in the middle of nowhere. Those with dodgier knees reading this may know it as Ayer's Rock. Nowadays (and rightly so), it is referred to by its Aboriginal name it held for tens of thousands of years: Uluru.

Dave had spotted a great deal outside his hostel. To hire a car with all camping and cooking equipment included was only AU$110 a day: pennies between three. Snapping it up, within half an hour a car arrived, stocked to the nines with gear, delivered by the company owner, the larger-than-life Rosco. After a spot of shopping for more varieties of mustard, we were soon speeding away from civilisation and into the dry desert of central Australia. I continued to be blown away by the fact you can drive for an hour and encounter nothing. I put it down to coming from Malaysia, where we live on top of each other in comparison.

Uluru was nearly five hours away.

We got all excited when we saw a solitary rock formation spring up out of nowhere on the left. At first we thought it might be Uluru, but on closer examination of the map, it turned out to be the flat-topped mesa of Mount Connor. Impressive all the same, it looked as if it had been plucked right out of Arizona.

When Uluru did finally snake into view, it was an exhilarating sight. Slunk low and wide on the horizon, it darted elusively in and out of view as the road meandered left and right.

As the sun was getting low, we set out straight for the rock, pulling into the sunset viewing area and straight into a parking space. The rock was initially a bright orange (a shade I can only accurately describe as "Dale Winton"), but as the earth turned and left the sun behind, it changed to a deep, fiery red before fading to grey.

We lingered for a while in case it changed colour again - I was holding out for green with pink spots - but with the light fading, we raced to our campsite in the nearby resort of Yulara.

Unloading the car, we broke out our beds for the night: nothing less than four swags (as in. We set up the table and chairs, cracked open the wine and cooked dinner - rice and meat - no crisp sandwiches tonight, thank you very much! I was so snug, warm and content that night, and slept soundly with not a single multi-legged invader to disturb me. I did wake up once though, and I had to pinch myself to check it wasn't all a dream as I grinned and peered up at a blanket of stars somewhere near the red centre of Australia.

One might ask why a human would drive five hours into the Big Nothing to visit a Remarkable Pebble. The answer is because Uluru is breathtaking. A better question one might ask to study human nature is why, once here, tourists climb the rock, despite it being a sacred site to Aborigines and there being copious signs in all manner of languages stating how disrespectful it is to their culture for people to climb.

My name is Beach, Bondi Beach

 

King's Cross, where we were staying, was an odd area. As I previously mentioned, it had a cluster of backpacker-oriented places as well as a strip of, er, strip clubs. Then just a road away it had some posh bars and restaurants. Very odd. Still, it was conveniently located; we took the train two stops in the opposite direction this morning to arrive at Bondi junction, and took a connecting bus down to the world famous Bondi Beach.

Bondi was surprisingly pleasant. I was expecting it to be packed with bronzed posers with attitude, but the vibe was relaxed and unpretentious. The bay was too developed for my liking, with houses and high rises hugging its curve, but having such an undeniably clean and lovely beach so close to the centre must be a real draw for Sydney siders.

A very good friend told me once that I should try surfing and when I arrived to Bondi I quickly look for a surf shop and I picked up a course. Such an enjoyment I couldn’t believe I’m actually doing it in that freaking freeze cold water which was 19C. Soon after that 3 hours surfing the horizon I headed for some sun-tan. You need sunblock here!!!! I got myself badly burned which is not a very smart choice.

Over some fish 'n' chips and an ice cream/ gelato I back in the centre, I spotted a Krispy Kreme Donut store. Noriko (another backpacker I met along the way) had been told to mercilessly hunt one of these down by one of her friends, as apparently they made the best doughnuts ever. So we performed a taste test on a nearby park bench. Results: good, but not mindblowing. Further research has revealed that we tried the wrong doughnut: their masterpiece is apparently the original glazed.

The time had come for Noriko and I to part company this year. We'd travelled together for over 2 days, and had a great laugh doing so. We vowed to stay in touch, and both bitten by the travelbug, we promised to look for opportunities to travel together again in the future.

Next : I meeting Alice in Springs!!!

Stanly