Do you like the thought of becoming a native somewhere other than your country of birth? Work abroad for a while and that’s exactly what you will do. You get to explore the city that you been dying to work with and to learn their fascinating culture they have, but some how or rather this morning I saw something that annoyed me. I saw with my own eyes that a man was BEATING his wife on the street. Too many people and me will think that his act was unacceptable but to certain peoples they just don’t care.
So, what is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is abuse that happens in a personal relationship. It can happen between pass of current partner, spouses, or boyfriends and girlfriends and even parents and children. It affects men and woman of any ethnic group, race, or religion wheatear you are gay or straight, rich or poor, in your teenage, adult, or elderly. Nevertheless, most of its victims are women. In fact I believe 1 in 4 women will be a victim at some point.
Abuser may use fear, bullying and threats to gain power and control over the victim. He or she may act jealousy, over controlling and possessive. These are early signs of abuse may happen soon after the start of the relationship and might be hard to notice at first.
Soon after the relationship becomes more serious, the abuse may get worse. One type of domestic abuse involves hurtful physical acts that include pinching, slapping, beating, kicking, punching, pulling of the hair, and the actual use of weapons. These weapons can include but are not limited to knifes, guns, belts, bats, vehicles, cigarettes or lighters, curling irons, hammers, tire irons or gardening tools.
Another type of abuse is sexual in nature. A few examples of sexual abuse include rape, forced or coerced sexual acts, incest, molestation, fondling, forced viewing or participation of pornography, sexual jokes and even insults concerning the victim’s sexuality or performance. But..
The hardest abuse to prove is that of a psychological nature. The intentional degradation of self-esteem by insults or belittling conduct as well as excessive limitations or control over another person’s behavior, financial freedom, or interaction with others.
With this, it will form of emotional abuse that is sometimes used to make a person feel bad, guilty or weak. It is sad but in reality these abusive are actually happening in our society today. Domestic violence and abuse knows no boundaries as far as race, religion, age, sex, geographic location, sexual orientation, or financial and social standing. Parents abuse children, children abuse elderly parents, husbands or lovers abuse women and yes, women abuse men and other women.
Men and women who have stayed with a violently abusive partner are often asked why they stayed. Some of the most common answers are “for the sake of their children,” “religious beliefs or fear of excommunication,” and the “fear that the abuser will come looking for them to kill them.”
In the past, all types of domestic abuse was quietly swept under the rug and ignored by society. Thankfully the attitudes of the general public and the legal systems are changing, I hope!.
Many cities around the world have battered women’s shelters to give temporary haven to the abused women and children. These places usually have a security system set up, counseling services, aid for job placement, as well as legal resources and information.
These halfway houses or shelters are not a long-term solution though. Many limit the days you can stay in the complex as well as the allowed age of minor male children and while they will aid you in getting away from your abuser, it is ultimately up to you as to what is eventually done.
Only you can decide to take the drastic step and get out of the situation. It will also be up to you as to whether charges are actually pressed against the perpetrator since it is highly unlikely the Attorney will see his way to prosecute when the victim has decided it isn’t what she or he wants.
It takes a great deal of courage for a victim of domestic abuse to step forward and make a conscious decision to take a stand against a violent spouse or lover. It takes even more to stand before a judge and tell the story of the abuse while wondering how you will be able to keep a home and food available for yourself and children.
In the end though, those who take that first step towards becoming a survivor instead of a victim will hopefully find a life filled with hope and promise instead of one of constant fear and pain.
I hope that woman I met this morning is doing fine by now.
Stanly
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